I am a survivor or childhood domestic violence, sexual abuse, and exploitation.
I don’t have a clear memory of when the abuse started, but a lot of memories good or bad begin around 7 years old when my parents were divorced. My dad was a violent man, and my mom also fought back violently. Because of the situation I became vulnerable to explosive situations.
Long story short from age 9-until age 14 I was emotionally, physically and sexually abused in a home that was not my own. The abuse was filmed and photographed at different stages.. I was constantly forced to give people blow jobs, I was drugged with pills, and raped.
After some of the abuse they would give us girls candy (as some sort of reward or something.) One of the places I lived there was a girl who was just settling in. We didn’t have access to a phone and it was kept out of our reach. We were told there would be consequences if we tried to use it.
One time this girl was accused of using the phone or attempting too, and was told she was gonna “get it” when the “man” got home. There was a Catholic church across the street and she told us if he was gonna beat her, she was going to run away as fast as she could and go to that church, because she thought they would help her. So “he” came at her and she bolted out the door. I never saw or heard from her again. That was one of many scary times.
Since all of this I have been saved from this situation, and have made a good life for myself, and have good supportive people around me, and the knowledge that I am loved by God. I do want to say that even after all of the good support I had and have I was still continuing to be victimized as an adult. Guys would manipulate me and I couldn’t recognize it.
As an adult I was groomed and manipulated by an older women who took advantage of my past. These things that I have shared are only snippets of my story. A lot more has happened, but this is what I want to publicly share that this time.
Now I am completely free from all bad relationships, and learning appropriate boundaries. I have come a LONG way, and am using my voice now to speak out in education and awareness against childhood sexual abuse and exploitation.
If you are reading this and are a survivor or childhood sexual abuse, please know that your story matters.
You have the potential to bring darkness into the light. You can bring awareness, education and empowerment to survivors locally and globally. Your truth will set you free, as well as free others.
5 Comments Add yours
Say it, sister. You were incredibly brave: to move away from him, your mother, to tell your mother, to get help, to tell your story here. I’ve walked this road, too. The Kudos for trusting God enough to stay near him and wait for the grace to forgive. Thank you so much for shding your story for yourself and so many others. May healing continue, sister.
I am very glad that you made the step to tell your story, and that you are getting help. I am very sympathetic on your relationships that were manipulative-my dad was a preacher that looked wise and secretly molested me for years and I have had several bad exploitative relationships since. I pray that things will keep looking up for you.
Thank you for helping bring light into the dark, even if it means sharing painful parts of your past. You are so brave, and I am so grateful you shared part of your story. Way to fight your way through to the light and even help others. You are a WARRIOR. ❤
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My heart breaks for the child you were….but cheers for the beautiful, brave warrior you are becoming. I’m so glad you’ve found your voice and are finding light in the darkness. Keep spreading the light, you beautiful, brave warrior, you! 🙂
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Amen, sister. I’m so proud of you for using your voice and writing your own brave ending to your story!